i'm just me

normal days

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.  Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.  Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.  Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.  One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.    -Mary Jean Iron

for me, there is nothing better than consistency and peacefulness.  around here, we have a lot of both.  weekends consist of sleeping in a bit since b gets up with the babe.  playtime as a family.  chores perhaps.  maybe a little computer or craft time while abby sleeps on her daddy.  lunch for abby, then an outing with lunch for us, maybe errands.  home again for naps - both abby and me (yes, i am so lucky to have b).  more family play time.  dinner for abby.  dinner for us.  a walk in the park.  starbucks (iced caramel macchiato - mmmmmm, we are addicted).

the simple life is the happiest life.

pain and well, pain

last thursday i had the work begun for another dental implant.  it happened that a tooth i'd had a root canal and crown on over 12 years ago starting causing me pain again a few months ago.  i'd forgone visiting the dentist until after abby was born since i knew they wouldn't do x-rays unless it was a dire situation - which it was not - the pain was only every now and then.  a few weeks go, i saw my dentist and he confirmed that the tooth needed to come out and sent me to the dental surgeon who'd worked on my last implant.  i made an appointment for the extraction, but then this past week it seems the tooth broke below the gum-line.  want to talk about pain?  it was horrible.  i have a pretty high pain threshold and i was about in tears.  i called the surgeon the next morning and they could get me in the day after that - thursday.  they called in a vicodin prescription for me, which made me insanely sick that night (dizzy, disoriented, etc) but didn't help much with the pain.  needless to say i was ready for them to pull it come thursday - things could only get better.  the tooth had to be dug out since it had broken into many pieces.  i thought i'd have a couple days of pain, with it gradually subsiding, but it is taking longer than i thought to feel better.  they had given me a new prescription and it didn't do anything for the pain - so i've just been taking a lot of ibuprofen.  tonight i think i am finally feeling a little bit better.  i wonder why it is that when i need dental work it is so extreme.  why not just a little filling here and there?  oh well, hopefully this is the last of the really painful stuff.

so, let's add to my misery.  i need a new vehicle.  before abby was born, we had toyed with the idea of getting a new vehicle and decided to just keep my mazda 3 as it's paid off and i like it.  well, it just isn't big enough.  we hope to get a good deal with the slow sales in the auto industry and all, but you know no matter what we are going to get the whole typical sales runaround.  i love getting a new car.  i hate the process - but then who doesn't.

random

• i think:  i have been sad more often than happy
• i know:  i will survive
• i want:  to feel cozy
• i have:  a sweet doggie i adore
• i dislike:  temperatures over 90 degrees
• i miss:  san diego in the fall
• i fear:  that i'm not a very good person
• i love:  autumn
• i feel:  tired a lot
• i hear:  everything; it's all too loud
• i smell:  the change of seasons
• i crave:  affection
• i cry:  at sentimental stuff
• i usually:  eat all my dinner
• i search:  for happiness
• i wonder:  what my baby will be like
• i regret:  having lived in az so long
• i wish:  there was an outback steakhouse nearby
• i care:  too much about what people think
• i always:  get happy when it's the holiday season
• i worry:  about the small stuff
• i am not:  as talented as i appear
• i remember:  how scared i was as a child
• i believe:  i can be a good parent
• i sing:  out of tune
• i don't always:  say i'm sorry when i think it
• i argue:  about little things
• i write:  very little
• i win:  when it comes to making yummy cookies
• i lose:  at most games
• i listen:  to the noise of rain each night
• i can usually be found:  at home
• i need:  stability
• i forget:  very easily - i have a bad memory
• i am happy:  when it rains

get out da funk

i've been in this funk for so long now i'm wondering if it will ever go away.

maybe i need to adopt kayley for a weekend.  spent dinner last night with her, her sister and mom and a friend of ours.  since b was not with us, i got all the love.  and boy was there love.  this little girl may be quite the sassy four year old often times, but when she is good, she is very, very good.  and last night she was the sweetest, kindest, most lovable girl.  i didn't want to let her go.  she is just what the doctor ordered.  now if i could only figure out how to get a regular dose.

then back to the funk...  i am hoping to spend some time being creative this weekend, i always feel better if i can immerse myself in creative stuff.  but, what will really help will be getting through some of the stressful things going on right now.  for the house purchase and kevin's move to be done.  for work to settle down.  work has been so crazy the last couple of months.  we had a reorganization from the top level down and the affect on the accounting department has been great.  good changes, just stressful right now.  then, right after the reorganizing was laid out, i had an incident with an employee and had to let them go.  they were in a significant position in my department and thus the loss has had its stresses on other staff and me.  but the problems involved with keeping that person around would have been too great.  finding a new person took a few weeks.  so far things are going well, but it takes quite some time to get up to speed in such a position.  i've also hired a jr accountant to help us out.

here's some fun stuff:

alysia got me these wonderful candles for my bday.  they are so pretty - but smell so yummy that i think i may have to burn them!

am addicted to jon and kate plus 8.  discovered this show not too long ago and it's been fun watching all the old episodes.  this is a truly amazing family.  even b loves the show.  we find ourselves missing seeing the kids since we used to watch re-runs most every day and now we've seen most of them.

so you think you can dance is so much fun.  when we starting watching this during its second season, we were immediately hooked.  it has what american idol has always been missing.  these people are so talented, the judges are so much more invested in the craft and the future of dance, the host (kat) is great and it's just a fun show to watch.  it takes real talent to be on this show, not just popularity.

and here's the cutest pup ever.

off again

so tomorrow we are headed out to visit kevin and zach in pocatello, idaho.  tomorrow also happens to be b's birthday.  we'll have a nice steak dinner tomorrow night to celebrate.

i have been so busy and stressed about stuff lately that i am still in somewhat of a funk and have not taken the time to do the things i like.  hopefully, this will pass soon.  i miss having fun with projects and blogging.

loving different artsy stuff.  and this is so cool.

pony tails

i've been going through my pre-digital photos, sorting and scanning them.  thought it would be fun to share some of them as i go through this process.

yes, this really is me.

things i feel #2

am loving trees right now...  and birds...

things i feel #1

my new art journal.  i'm starting a series titled "things i feel".  i've written under the flap my reasons for my feeling.  but that's private now, isn't it?

oh, the humanity

i am one of those joyful individuals who suffers from migraines.  i don't know when or where it will hit - but oh when it does...

lucky me got to spend all but 2 hours in bed today until i felt well enough to get up for good.  it started early this morning when i woke up with a pain in my head.  a couple of hours after that, b got up and left for work (lucky him gets to work saturdays this time of year).  anyway, the headache was still there, and i knew that was not a good sign.  i often wake up with headaches but they usually subside by the time i have to get up for the day.  i decided to stay in bed and hoped the pain would go away.  it did not.  i got up shortly before 9 - tried a cup of coffee hoping the caffeine would help - and was so sick i was back in bed by 9:30.  up again at 11:30, fed my growling stomach a bowl of cereal (one of my true loves...) and managed to stay up for about an hour and a half.  with my head still enveloped in pain, it was back to bed until a bit after 4.

what a spectacular way to spend a beautiful spring saturday...

under the weather

sorry i've been gone awhile.  dental surgery+antibiotic reaction=sick me.  no worries, dr. says discontinue meds and i should be fine in a day.  another day off work, sigh.  see ya...